The beginning of the end...

Ahhhh will you look where I've ended up. Blogging...who knew?!? Since this is my first entry I feel I should start off with all the thoughts floating in my head. Christmas has just passed, and for once I feel like it was more about spending time with my family and enjoying the sense of being part of something far bigger than I will ever be on my own. It wasn't commercial, at least not at my house. It was real, and full of laughter and love. But as I find always happens in life, as soon as the mist of happiness lifts, the theatrics of joy...sadness usually follows closely behind. It's hard to be content when it feels like everything and everyone else is so over come with sadness. My son left with his Daddy to spend Christmas vacation...and while that provides him with a happiness I can't even describe with words, it leaves me with an emptiness that makes my soul hurt. Have you ever had your soul hurt??? It's something that is so indescribable just thinking of it in my head makes my heart beat faster. Life with my Son not around is so quiet and empty. A shell of what "normal" life is...Normal...it's amusing that I have actually gotten to a point in my life where I consider having a child "normal". But i digress, as the days pass I understand more and more what life will be like when my Son goes off to live with Daddy for a longer time than usual. How will I ever survive?